Garlic

Isn't garlic good for your heart? I'm having a bowl of crock pot chicken stew at the moment, and somewhat procrastinating on the call-backs I have to make for all the voice mails I've reached this week. Drag!

I went to happy hour last night with the girls to celebrate Meagan's homecoming from the Phillipines. I'm impressed at the way she has changed - her perspective of Southeast Asia. She originally had her reservations in taking the position at her job because she knew she would be leaving behind all the luxuries and conveniences of the good ol' US. One thing I was pleased to hear was of her getting used to eating healthier there and having difficulty adjusting to the processed foods here; she had a few negative things to say about the quality of food in the Phillipines, and rightly so because the sanitation is atrocious. I'm happy that she has gained some cultural awareness and is enjoying her time there. Apparently next year she may be traveling to Australia and London, which she excitedly talked about last night.

Speaking of Southeast Asia, my parents are wrapping up their first week of training in Richmond, Virginia. They are one of about 5 other couples who have grown children as opposed to little ones, and my mom wrote and said there were as many as 20 kiddos running around over there! So far I'm very excited for them and I haven't begun to miss them too much. I know they are in God's hands - the best hands you can be in! I can't wait to be able to send them care packages when they are in Indonesia. I remember so vividly when we were younger and would squeal with delight as we opened up the care packages sent to us by the thoughtful people at IMB - American candy, hot chocolate mixes, movies, and a card that said we were in their prayers...so sweet!

Tonight, Danish and I are Fort Worth bound. Hank very kindly paid for a hotel room for us to be there for the rehearsal dinner tonight and groom's brunch tomorrow! How awesome is that? It's coming to look like their wedding is definitely costing them a pretty penny! I'm sure it will be beautiful! Here is a picture of Danish and Hank, who was a groomsman at our wedding:

I'll post just a couple of pictures of our newly arranged house, too. I wish we had remembered to take 'before' pictures to compare how much space we've created. Just imagine things looking 10 times more cluttered than this:

Master bedroomSister's bedroomHallway from the entranceDad's "cave", now a second living roomLiving room
I need to get back to work if I'm going to have any time to head over to the apartment to clean before turning in the key. I think the chicken stew may have had one too many cloves of garlic...

My heart feels like it will explode with love

To make myself useful (and more importantly not a worthless dirtbag), I've picked up a part-time job helping out my friend Meredith. She works for a CPA company and my job will be to make a round of calls to various companies to ask what accounting software they use. It's a research call not a sales call, to my relief. I find this opportunity to be a God-send because apparently I've missed my jumping off point for my career as a nurse; the next graduate nurse internships won't be available until the fall. Not to worry, the Lord said to me. I am greatly enjoying this time off and Danish is more than capable of supporting the both of us while we wait for me to find a job. Even that I'm not worried about. I received this degree for a purpose, I'm certain it will be utilized...confidently for God's glory. It will be a gratifying moment when my ambition is realized.

In other news, Danish's co-worker gave birth to a little girl who is 6 weeks early. Hopefully her stay in the NICU will be short and sweet. This Saturday is Nicole and Jake's wedding, I'm so excited for them. And finally, Sunday is the last 4th of July we'll spend as a family before my parents take off for the mission field!

A great quote I found which may or may not relate to this post: Life isn't about being a "productive member of society" – it's about love, relationships, and community. I couldn't agree more.

CPR

I'm still in bed, the apartment is all toasty, and Danish is coming home from work! I'm so spoiled. Today is my brother's 19th birthday and we're going to shop for some winter clothes before he goes back to Austin. Then spending some quality time with Danish as today is also our 5-year anniversary. I wonder if married people still celebrate how long they have been together along with their wedding anniversary. I guess later on it gets to a point where there are too many dates to remember so you just end up celebrating the wedding date. Well, we have two!

And now for some random thoughts and a few of the wedding pictures I actually liked: I need to learn how to cook! I love the antique-looking clock on the wall. God works in mysterious ways. It's cold out apparently. I miss Tank.

Speeding tickets and name changes

I finally changed my name today. Thank you cards...still in the works. I signed up for NCLEX tutorials next week - blah! I figure I really need the extra help since I failed my HESI exams last semester. I'm really glad for the support Danish gives me as he encouraged me to sign up even though it was a whopping $350 for the 4 sessions. I wish this winter break would never end.

So my parents are leaving the country to go back into the mission field this summer. My dad was forced to leave his job, but fortunately God's perfect timing brought two little angels from Korea to stay at my parents house for the next several months. Koreans are really adamant about their children learning English at a young age and believe exposing them to the language early on will increase their chances of fluency when they are older. Generally you have to be wealthy to send your little ones abroad. It really is a blessing because not only does it make up for my dad not working, but it has really livened up the house. I was concerned for my mom feeling lonely since I no longer live there, but these two girls have brought her so much joy! Their names are Sarina and Kate, second and fourth grade.

I see Meagan tonight and it seems she is no longer dating that guy from eHarmony. I told her in full detail about the type of guy I see her with, but where is he? It's not that I want to feel bad for her, but I see that she wants to be with someone. I mean, she blatantly told me how jealous she was that I got married. Jana on the other hand expresses no urgency in settling down; she's happy as a clam being single. She says God-willing she will be with someone, just that it isn't the time yet. That is a pretty sweet attitude.

In other terrible news, the wedding photographer stated that she is only going to edit 40 out of 2000 pictures with no prints. I'm not sure if she finally said she would print the 40 free of charge, but regardless I'm pretty disappointed.

Wedding

Smile like you mean it

Lately I've been at a loss for words. I type and delete. Then give up altogether. This barrage of inappropriate thoughts and emotions has rendered me futile in self-expression. It's like a fever; the temperature runs too high for normal body function. Yes, the wedding is next weekend. Regrettably, that is only the tip of the iceberg. I won't go into anymore detail for fear of boring you, but I've determined that my angst stems from my lack of healthy coping skills. Instead of turning to prayer and meditation (which I am aware would do me great benefit), I have been drinking much more excessively than usual. I lose a lot of respect in the process. For a while, I felt that perhaps I was getting cold feet of some nature. Although I'm already married, it hasn't quite felt official since my parents have insisted I stay home as much as possible until the wedding. I mean, I haven't even been able to share a bed with my own husband. Then the thought of going through the ritualistic torture called a wedding, leaving my dear parents and the house I grew up in, and moving in with a person whom I sometimes perceive as my greatest enemy...it's too much! Sure, such is life blah blah. Let me remind you I have the mental and emotional capacity of a 6-year-old. I live in my own little world of stability and disaster, an anomaly I can't even explain. So what am I facing here - is it a change towards stability or towards disaster? While I have been brooding over these uninteresting matters, I apparently 'forgot' to study for my practic HESI exams, thus failing them. Not to worry, they didn't count against me or anything. I'm utterly exasperated by my own feeble-mindedness. Get a freaking grip, right?

Smoke detector

I just set it off when I turned on the heat - I am freezing my tush in the apartment! Now it smells of smoke and my head hurts from the piercing alarm which I managed to finally shut off after a frantic effort. It appears wedding plans are wrapping up. The big day is only two weeks away! However, in those two weeks leading up to it, I have five exams left. FIVE. I have to be thankful, though; I've made it this far, with grace, meaning I can end strong. Meaning I should probably go study now.

Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon

I went to check out the venue in McKinney and the place was really nice. It's small and cozy with a gigantic stone fireplace, long windows, and a terrace that overlooks the golf course. Then Rachel took me to a wedding dress boutique called Circle Park Bridal where I tried on a few dresses that didn't fit me...or my budget. Luckily Rachel tells me she had bought a dress on a whim and is offering it to me as a gift! How generous...I've asked her several times how sure she was of just giving the dress to me. I'm currently working on finding a tailor who could alter the dress to my size. So far I have date, venue, food, dress, parting gifts, decorations, photographer, and bridesmaids down! I still have to work on flower arrangements and color coordination for bridemaid dresses and accents, shit like that. All I know for the bridesmaid dresses, I don't want them wearing the same thing or same color. Then there is also organizing a dinner for my parents and Danish's parents to meet, I guess the "rehearsal dinner" even if we're not having a rehearsal? Oh so stressful. I know I've hired a wedding planner, but there is so much more than just a wedding to plan for...GIFT registery. And wedding invitations, which I'm going to complete tomorrow afternoon. Heyo, almost done.

We brought down part of the backyard fence to rebuild a new one. It was a lot of manual labor...something my family always finds ourselves being apart of! I find it funny and endearing - my little family doing manual labor and working so hard and living life...I am so proud of my parents and my brother and sister. Also Danish's team, the Cincinnati Bengals, totally kicked ass in today's game against the Chicago Bears, 45-10. They seem to be having a good season. I have no idea why I'm writing about them, I'm so disinterested in football. But I find it hot that Danish is really into it, and it's nice that for once he's rooting for the underdog team that is doing well for themselves. We went and saw The Hangover at the dollar theater, which was vile yet decently funny. Oh, and last week's dinner with the girls went well. We ended up going to The Fish, and I have to say their bathroom is quite top notch - you walk down a short hallway of mirrors that compels you to dance down the length of to mandatory sushi restaurant techno music, and they have very modern, complicated sink faucets and pictures of half naked men on the walls. Sadly, I drank too much and had to be excused from clinical the next day due to my outrageous hangover, which my instructor suspected to be the flu. I'm so worthless, I spent the rest of the day in bed nursing myself back to health with ice water and Pepto Bismal.

Rachelevents.com

I hired a wedding planner who is the most energetic and capable person I would imagine in this field! We're checking out a venue in McKinney today and I pray it is everything I want. Then it's Steel for dinner with the girls, which is a pretty big deal considering it will be the first time I see all of them since the news. It's nice to have a day off from clinical, but instead of being able to thrash around in bed, I am busy with...life. I guess I should feel blessed. I am blessed. I just have a horrible attitude. But I'm working on it, with prayer since I can't do it on my own. Also, FYI I only had one glass of wine last night, instead of the whole bottle. Still managed to have a decent time on our double date with Gian and Bobbi. I was pleased with Danish picking out a Thai restaurant, that was considerate of him to do. As for the details of yesterday's clinical, I'll save it for later - so much happenings and emotions running high, it was a mess...I was a hot mess. Goodness, when does it end?

I have given up

On most things. I'm planning a wedding. I would be more excited about it if I wasn't so emotionally drained. I'm too depressed to write anything of substance. Just this, Love is wider than my need will ever be. God's love, that is. That is all.

Big monkey, little monkey

Last Saturday was Miriam's wedding where the reception was held at the Stonebridge Ranch country club. Once again, I was too drunk to take pictures of any of the details to my regret because they were beautiful. We had a decent time, although we were both tired from staying out late the night before. Brooke wanted to go to Blackfinn and if you don't know already, everytime I go to Blackfinn I drink too much.

Well, I'm glad to say that night made me realize how badly I need to slow my roll with the alcohol. I can't seem to gauge the zone between buzzed and trashed, and my self-control goes out the window when there's an open bar. Why that night and not the other nights that have gotten me sicker and in more trouble? I really don't know, but after throwing up everywhere in Danish's new apartment and eeking through the next two days with the meanest hangover ever, I resolved to never let that happen again. Let's hope that's my final resolution and I don't become a repeat offender.

At my parents' suggestion, Danish and I made a trip to Fort Worth to visit Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, where both my parents received their masters degrees in theology. Danish liked the campus, and of course I was elated to be there because it brought back so many childhood memories! We're planning on taking a few enrichment courses there in the future.