Let me explain

My making a Twitter account is completely for academic reasons. Today in class the teachers enthusiastically informed the class that they would be "tweeting" announcements, helpful hints, and reminders to enhance our learning experience in both Pediatric and Adult health. I feel so lame for doing it, but at least I don't have Facebook to go along with it. Hm...as Daniel said, I've "entered the Blogosphere" or internet realm. I do spend a lot of time on the internet - everything is internet. Definitely music.

Speaking of music, over the weekend we went to The Cavern to see Bad Veins and Lauren's husband's band They Were Stars, and apparently it was a good show. Unfortunately, I totally missed out on Bad Veins! I was across the street at Taco Cabana with Meagan, chit-chatting about marriage and relationships and stuffing our faces with delicious tacos and quesadillas. Oh well, at least Daniel was there to enjoy them so I'm happy. Their sound is much like The Strokes, The Killers, and The Bravery. I liked "The Lie":

I know this week will go by pretty quickly. This Labor Day weekend, we're going to make a trip out to see the Grand Canyon with my parents. They've never been so it should be exciting.

The "Root"

The "Root" refers to the way I tie my hair when I'm at home or wanting to be comfortable - it's pulled away from my face so that the pony tail is not just in the back of my head, but acutally sitting on top so that the hair splays out like a fountain or what Daniel calls a root. He says it is as if I can be pulled out of the ground by the pony tail like a carrot or some other root vegetable. To be honest, it's not an attractive look, but what do I care since I'm usually home or hanging out with him. But out of a barrage of insults from Daniel last night, one happened to poke at the unkempt look I sported when we went grocery shopping. "Let your hair down," he said. "I can't, it'll leave a crease," I replied. "Well at least redo it so it doesn't look so crazy." "Why? You think I'm ugly?" To which he said, "No, but I don't want anyone else to." On the car ride home, he made it a point to let me know I wasn't as smart as someone we go to church with. And he said he didn't trust my cooking. I clammed up throughout dinner and went home early and had to choke on my frustration when he neither called or texted me on my car ride home. We didn't even pray together for my first day of school.

I'm not that upset and it's really not a fight. Just irritating/insensitive things he does sometimes. I'm sure I do plenty of annoying things to him, too. I know there are things I just have to let slide when in a relationship, but once in a while I get this crazy notion that if I let him slide with one thing, then he will try to get away with another thing, and pretty soon take complete advantage of me. Of course that is just silly and untrue. The man is not out to get me, to poke and prod until he finds a loophole. But I get worried sometimes. I've gotten a lot better...it's the controlling, insecure side of me that destroys life and the world. And I'm going to throw in that it's pretty egotistical to believe that someone has to be sweet to me at all times when I'm not always so pleasant myself. Yeah, I'm a terrible person.

So I've made a resolution of some sorts - I'm going to stay sober all semester long! I'll have a beer here and there, but nothing to get me drunk. I think it's possible not to mention I may gain some respect from people, i.e. Daniel. To my dismay, Daniel wasn't as excited as I was. "You can't set a goal for an entire semester," he said with considerable airs, "You have to set short-term goals, such as 'I will try to stay sober for one week.'" Exasperated, I said, "I don't have a drinking problem. Quit talking to me like I should be in AA." Sometimes I wonder if I do have a drinking problem, and he happens to be the "Root" of it! Grr.

Coffee Break

I wonder if it's any difference if I remembered the moments during my black outs.

Probably not.

Normalcy

I'm home again, with no outside obligations. I would greatly enjoy being a house wife. I love to cook and clean, and I would read books, take cat naps, play with my dog, work out, watch movies, and clip coupons for when I go shopping. I totally dig that kind of life style. At least once I graudate, I am only required to work 3 12-hour days and I have the rest of the week to myself to do exactly those things.

My story writing has definitely come to a halt. Perhaps I'm really just not that good, and I was merely psyching myself into thinking it wasn't too difficult. We'll see where that goes. I'm needing a delicious plot, one that involves death and tragedy. Funny is definitely not my forte. Daniel continues to suggest real-life writing: real situations, real dialgoue, real emotions.

My brother is is Austin now. I really miss him and hope he's doing well. He said he missed a class on the first day and panicked, but it turned out the class was cancelled. I remember when I first went to college at UT Arlington and it was so overwhelming to be that small and individual in a ocean of students and professors, surrounded by giant buildings. And UT Austin is massive! I've also never lived in a dorm or that far away from home...I'm sure with him it'll be different and fun. He's been longing for this, longing to grow up and get away from high school. I think.

I just finished eating this chinese snack called sachima and I feel a thousand times fatter. It's a soft flour cake made of flour, eggs, sugar, malt, milk, and oil, and it resembles a rice kripsy treat but tastes far less sweet. I like the texture which is like a mix between a soft cookie and a cake. But I guess I ate one when I didn't really crave it so now I feel sick.

I hate banks

I'm looking forward to school starting. I wonder how much I will enjoy/not enjoy Bad Veins seeing as it will be the last show of the summer; the singer sings into a megaphone. I'm glad the summer is coming to an end. It's been so hectic. I'd rather fall into routine once again. Here's a song called "Summer Lovers" by Beats for Beginners. If only I had been smarter in my decisions so that my summer would have been as carefree as this song sounds!

Constipated

Augh! I had a nightmare about a little girl whom I didn't realize was psycho, and she tied up 4 dogs around the neck with rope and tried to drown them in a well! I saved them just in time, performing CPR on each of them. I wonder what the point was of that dream. I didn't fall asleep until after 4:30 this morning, maybe that had something to do with it. I'm going to the pool with Diana for a bit today. I'm anxious to finish reading To Kill a Mockingbird. For a while, I thought it was called How to Kill a Mockingbird and Danish corrected me. I'm going to start C.S. Lewis' Space Trilogy next. I love his writings. Tomorrow, we drive to Houston for our passports, then Austin to get my brother settled into his dorm. There's so much on my mind, I wish I could let it all out.

Taper off and I'm had

I'm having a great hair day. I'm getting my picture taken for my passport. Then Bible study. What a great, relaxing day.

Writing

Danish told me that in order to write something worth reading, I need to be able to have the reader connect with me and be in my shoes. It's a lot harder than anticipated. I wanted so much to create a bizarre character in whom I can live through vicariously, but such is not the case. I'm leaning towards an autobiography. Of course I've mentioned before, if I lose motivation I want to at least publish a short story. There's no way I can methodically display my progress, but I've created a new blog where I will frequently update with the bits and pieces of writing I can manage to muster. None of it will make sense, nor will it have appropriate beginnings or endings. I don't mean to make a big deal, and to be honest my creative energy will most likely fizzle out by the time school starts. I've barely started writing and I'm already disappointed in the prospect of my inspiration being doused.

Pictures from the circus

My favorite show at the circus was the motorcycles in the cage. Afterwards, we ate at a place called Dixie House Cafe. Then we went to the Korean supermarket to pick up some groceries. Then home to Rupert, Derek and Zoe's dog that Danish is watching over the weekend. Yesterday was our friend Paul's birthday, and we went to Chilli's for dinner, but copped out of going to Social House because we were exhausted. To my surprise, I couldn't think of having one more drink and we ended up just hanging at the apartment. I still can't believe our friends Josh and Loni are getting a divorce. Sigh. I wish there was a way I could tell them that no one is easy to love until you understand agape love, and that their marriage could be saved. But you know, it's just hard to bring up those kinds of things. People don't think God has anything to do with their lives. These circus pictures suck.

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey

Going to the circus to see animals and flying people and to eat peanuts and cotton candy! Hooray!

Then perhaps a date night with my hubby. Oh, and I've started writing some jibber jabber for my book/short story. It's pathetic, but at least it's something. We're gonna head west. There's a rumor goin' around there might be some Inspiration out there. So we're headed out Californee Way.

Really, a drunken post...

But I say all this out of love for humanity. There is hope in that God didn't just leave us here to fend for ourselves. He left us here with others who also have a passion for Him, and I am at ease with that. Before, not so much since we live in such a fallen world...don't you agree? It's so easy to be self-satisfied...at any rate, I am convinced that there are others who love humanity as much as I do, and love the LOVE of God as much as I do. It's definitely not a matter of religion; it's an obsessive, uncontrolled love stupor for the Creator who is consistently drawing us towards Him. My tiny, insignificant existence is of importance to Him, and I feel that with all my heart. He loves me because He created me to love me. How awesome is that!

Surfin' with a body in the water

Pictures from Broken Social Scene

Blog

I'm bad at blogging. I went to see Broken Social Scene with some friends on Friday and had a really good time. Unfortunately that whole adventure cost me a whopping $90. I was surprised to see Telegraph Canyon open for them! They were awesome. I totally started an encore for them when they played for the Fort Worth Weekly Music Showcase earlier this summer. Just saying.

Then Saturday, we woke up early to volunteer with the Village Church at an event called Transform where we helped renovate Calhoun Middle School in Denton. They also had a Back to School Supply Drive where they handed out hundreds of backpacks to the children in the community. It was an overwhelmingly meaningful experience for me, and during lunch I sat on the bleachers in the gym and cried tears of joy while eating my hot dog.

Violent Still Life has finally completed their self-titled LP and I was there to partake in the glorious yet painstaking process of uploading the songs onto TuneCore. It's all very exciting and I'll be sure to mention on here whenever they play a show. It will be around September, is what Danish says...some good fall music for everyone, everywhere!

Today's highlights

I ate Chipotle and watched Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Christine

I met Danish's cousin Christine on Wednesday. Blah, that was so long ago...it's strange to meet someone that belongs to the same family who is so normal. Not that there is anything wrong with Danish, or anything wrong with normal; it's just that I've known him for such a long time that I correlate him with my weirdness...he has always been a freak just like me. But Christine...she's so well-adjusted and sweet and all-American. She doesn't look anything like Danish, and she smells so good. And I liked her immediately, to my relief, and I think she liked me back. We picked her up from Danish's other cousin Leah's apartment and went to Billiard Bar on Greenville Avenue for Michelle's 30th birthday. The scene there is nice, where the girls are pierced and tattooed and the guys look like Harmony Korine. It was $1 PBR night! I enjoyed myself and was pleased to see Danish enthusiastically interact with Christine who was equally entertained by everything he said. When midnight rolled around, we embarrassed Michelle by singing happy birthday to her. A few of her friends had shown up, but Michelle excused herself and went home before 1, claiming she was just too tired and old to stay out any longer. She didn't even finish the Tuaca Lemon Drop shot I got for her! At any rate, we made new friends with people we didn't know and laughed and took pictures and bade them farewell as we stumbled back to the car (I stumbled. I was also made fun of by some girls standing in front of The Cavern for saying out loud how much I liked The Cavern). 'Twas a good night, meeting family and celebrating a birthday and all.

I love the rain we've been getting although it prevented us from seeing Grimy Styles after Brad's reception dinner last night. It was all the way out in Red Oak, Texas and we thought we were late. Hank called and said they were just getting out of the church and asked what Danish was wearing. Of course not being part of the wedding party, and having been told it was going to be a BBQ/swimming reception dealio, he was just wearing a T-shirt and shorts (as was I). Hank said, "Oh really? Well, we had to dress nice for this...Brad is wearing his suit and tie...we were going to take pictures, but I guess it will be alright with what you're wearing...hold on, Brad wants to talk to you." (Brad gets on the phone) "Hey, Danny! How's it going, man? What are you wearing? Oh...well, see we're trying to take pictures. I guess we can all change when we get there...oh no, don't worry about it...I guess it's alright." At this, Danish felt like a jackass for not wearing the appropriate attire. Maybe he wanted to cry, haha jk. Then Hank, Brad, and Richard roll up in front of the house and park. Danish tells me, "I bet you anything they were just pranking me." Sure enough, they get out of the car and they were all just wearing T-shirts and shorts, not to mention huge grins on their faces! I thought it was hilarious. I can't believe it's been almost 6 years of Danish and his friends pranking each other.

The rest of the night was fun and relaxing, lots of food and talking. It was pretty to see the lightning outside. I was happy for Brad and Bethany, like a genuine happy. I had that feeling again when I realized my friends were growing up, and I expected it to ache each time, but it didn't. I really felt happy with the fact that everyone was growing up. I can't imagine why I expected it to ache. I guess I'm blessed because it didn't, because I don't have any regrets. The future can be welcomed with open arms and an open heart. That's why I can be genuinely happy for my friends and particularly for myself. It was/is a pleasant feeling :)