Saturday

As of yesterday, I officially have no job! That disappointment was only slightly eased by piña coladas and beers by the pool. As you already know, I'm in the process of looking for work - to no avail. For the time being I will be selling old text books, posting random objects on Craigslist, and donating plasma. Oh and this stupid Fray ticket, it's stuck to me like a piece of static-y plastic - I can't seem to get rid of it! If anyone wants to buy it from me, please let me know; the concert is on Friday, July 24.

We're still trying to rent out the property in Denton. A person called, but he bailed twice! Why?! I mean, I understand the first time; however, once we arranged to meet again, he bailed the second time and never returned our calls. Strange, strange people in this world. Of course that put us in a terribly nasty mood, having had to drive out there twice. I'm talking about my mother and I. We bickered all the way home. Stressful.

In other pleasant news, Daniel is moving next Wednesday. It should be fun to see what his new place is like. Also, apparently their new album is almost finished! More than 5 songs I haven't heard - that is quite exciting and I can't wait to get a copy. I've said this to him before, but Violent Still Life is indeed one of the better projects he's been involved in. Did I say better projects? I meant ridiculously awesome and good.

I just found out Daniel's friend Hubbs is attending Pitchfork Music Festival in Chicago! Ugh, jealous. The lineup is freaking amazing - especially Sunday's, which explains why tickets for that day are sold out. I adore the Flaming Lips. And Mew. They have a new album coming out with the craziest title -

No more stories
Are told today
I'm sorry
They washed away
No more stories
The world is grey
I'm tired
Let's wash away

Ha, brilliant. And not only that, two of their track titles are pictures, not words. Below is a short and sweet song from their first album. I'm not actually that jealous of Hubbs. Daniel and I are going to try to make ACL this year. It will be my first time. Friday's lineup is looking pretty tasty.

How do you even?!

How do you even manage to get onto the ramp and drive 10 miles the wrong way on the highway?! I'm both angry and heartbroken over this disaster. Hannah was a really good high school friend. We've drifted since college and I don't even know her phone number, but this is absolutely terrible news. Judy and I were trying to make plans to see her at Parkland, but the ICU doesn't allow visitors that aren't immediate family. I just hope she's doing ok. Of course the asshole driver was in fair condition after the accident. Apparently there are a lot of these cases occurring in the metroplex, which terrifies me. Especially when these delusional drivers are driving at speeds of up to 70 mph! I just want to say watch out, stay out of the fast lane as it has been reported that drivers going the wrong direction tend to stay to their right, and definitely be conscious of what time you're going home as most of these accidents happen around 2 a.m. - you know, when the bars close.

The truth will set you free

My weekend was really eventful. We went to Brad Billman's lakehouse off Cedar Creek Lake with Daniel's lifegroup. I enjoy lakehouses! I could be a lake rat all summer if given the opportunity. We swam, laid out, talked, rode jet skis, and relaxed. Oh, and ate tons of food. One funny thing was this guy Kevin who shamelessly dried off with a confederate flag towel. Sans the racism, I do appreciate what it represents - the rebel and the South. I love how Brad and Vicki furnished the house. Quaint furniture, cute figurines, and lake signs everywhere. We never got to go tubing behind the boat, but apparently we left just in time. There were some reported injuries for those who did go tubing! Meredith broke her finger and her husband cut his heel open. Augh!

After the lake, Daniel had to go to band practice and I went to Miriam's Passion Party. It was plenty fun, but I was so exhuasted from the sun that I couldn't even enjoy all the alcohol there. Julie was making everyone tequila poppers - tequila and 7up in a shot glass, covered with with a paper towel, and pounded twice on the counter to make it fizz up. It tastes like champagne. Sex toy parties are such novelty; everyone cannot help giggling their heads off in sheer embarrassment as they pass the vibrators and dildos around.

Yesterday, Daniel and I went to Movies 14 in Allen to watch Year One during matinee hours. It was so disappointing that we snuck into a second movie, Night at the Museum, to make up for it. Fortunately the second movie was far better. We ate dinner at Cici's and had a great conversation about future plans on the car ride home. I confessed to him feelings I had for another person while we were separated. It didn't make him too happy, but I was beyond relieved. The truth was I was an idiot during that time - insecure and starved for attention. I'm just glad it's all over with, that all those feelings have dissipated. Something just clicked hard and fast in my feeble mind, and I am truly remorseful but at the same time refreshed. What a world's difference it is to be emotionally available; when you're not into something whole-heartedly, it dies. I won't let us die. Not after all we've been through, no siree.

Vvzzvzwwzzz v. Obama

I thought the fact that the media even brought attention to this is quite humorous. And here is an even funnier response to the fly swatting - from the perspective of the dead fly's wife!

D&G

It has been a rough couple of months, but lately things have been going pretty well with Daniel. I have been growing to like him again. You know, as a person. Sometimes you get blindsighted when you've been with someone for a while, and you forget how awesome they are and what initially attracted them to you. One thing in particular is I had forgotten what a great musician he is. I have a new appreciation for that. And of course he is my rock. No one can pull through for me like he does. I'm going to try harder to make this work. This means I need to consciously remember not to act like such a complete brat. Needless to say I have been one for a really long time. I'm pretty sure that is a sign of maturity if I'm finally beginning to think of how my actions affect others rather than just focusing on myself. I want to make his time worthwhile. He's my boy!

Santigold

It's like Erykah Badu meets Karen O. It's like gold.

Take our hands out of control

No, yeah! I had a shit load of fun tonight. I just learned the definition of "fleeting."

And I believed them all

Just came back from a very relaxing and chill night in Denton with Daniel and friends. Drove out there to put a 'For Rent' sign at the Lipizzan property, ate some awesome tacos at Fuzzy's, and watched the end of Aliens at Hubbs' house (ahhh Ripley is so badass). I love houses with balconies...especially balconies that are trimmed with Christmas lights and have couches and beer pong tables. Fat Tire is also a very tasty beer...

So the plan was to hang out with Miriam on Fry Street around 10 pm. By the time we had finished our 4th beers and were on our way, I realized I left my I.D. in my car...in Plano. I called Miriam and apologized profusely about not being able to come out and that I'd see her on Saturday for her bachelorette party. We went back to Hubb's house and watched a series of mindless and stupid cartoon TV shows on Adult Swim, which I embarrassingly will admit to having enjoyed...immensely ("A fist is just one hand praying by itself").

I'm about to go to bed...I just wanted to make a note of how I have the most difficult time believing what guys say. Trust issues? Maybe so. I just can't take a guy's words for face value, and it would certainly be nice if I could. But I guess guys are like girls; they can also have a lot of insecurities they don't want to expose for fear of scorn, rejection, or apathy. Perhaps it's a habit I've fallen into. If I keep this up, I'll forever get burned by initial reactions to my advances, not fully understanding the nature of the opposite sex (pardon, more like embracing rather than understanding). I'll figure it out one day. I have a good man who is patient enough to wait until then.

A hundred years old

Today I read a considerably depressing article called Welcome to Your Quarterlife Crisis by Kate Carraway on the young adult - those in their mid-twenties, early thirties. It discussed the lack of purpose and direction most experience in this age group. Sociologist Michael Kimmel says, "They don’t have much of a life plan about how to move from Point A to Point B. What happens very often is they have very big ambitions, [but] there is a mismatch between their planning for their lives and their ambitions.”

Feel free to read it and travel from denial to connection to breakthrough. I was later told that the psychosocial crisis of Intimacy vs. Isolation by Erickson is what is being realistically explained in this article. Apparently as the theory goes, when intimacy is obtained, one can move on to the next stage. If not, they become isolated and carry unresolved issues into the next stage, where it manifests itself into an even uglier mid-life crisis. I thought that was interesting.

You know, I really stand by the matter of humans being relational creatures. It all comes down to relationships with others, whether it's romantic or platonic. Genuine relationships with one another is bound to bring a sense of purpose and direction, which would add meaning to the work we do and the money we make. If according to Erickson we ought to be focusing on creating intimate relationships with others, this modern-day technological alternative to communication such as Twitter and Facebook is surely an obstruction to that process...isn't it? (I won't even get into that, I'm addicted to Facebook.) It makes me wonder, though, whether we are all jaded somehow, and it causes a majority of us to be dissatisfied with our situations even when we have the world at our fingertips. Are we all jaded? Is it the last of our teenage angst fizzing out of us? Because if that's the case, Carraway suggests, "it might just be time to grow the fuck up."

I think becoming jaded makes you complacent in life...not necessarily content, but merely dealing with what cards you were dealt. I definitely don't want that of myself. God forbid I become complacent in my rut. I will grow up! I think I will come out on top. Surely the human quality is more resilient than that.

Grace + Job = Huh?!

Never did I anticipate not having clients during the summer. The last 5 summers were packed with kids. So many kids, workbooks, homeworks, jokes, questions, learning...so much dough. I get nervous even considering the idea of getting a job as a waitress or working in retail. I would make the worst employee! But seeing as my options are dwindling just like my bank account, the nightmare may likely become a reality. My friend Lindsey and I were actually talking about what hot spots could accomodate our insufficient funds...and we both agreed Uptown Dallas has a variety of restaurants and bars that could be hiring girls like us. Terrible. I'd rather eat at those fancy restaurants than serve. Crampin' my style. At any rate, Wednesday seems like a good day to go job-hunting - it's the middle of the week, managers may be in chipper moods or what not.