I've been slacking in my writing. I think I ought to write more...even when I don't have to desire to. The lack of desire stems from the fear of sounding inarticulate and retarded because I can't seem to find the perfect, eloquent words to describe my thoughts and feelings. A legitimate fear for a writer, I think, but nevertheless I should write. For the sake of writing. For the sake of hobbies/interests/anything that could add substance to my person.
I have recently become open to the prospect of moving out of Texas. This in itself was a journey I will write about another time. I was hopeful that once I opened myself up, God will immediately open a door for us and we would be on our merry way to happily ever after. Yet we are still in the here, nothing has changed. Not even a puff of wind to turn a single leaf. I'm not distressed by any means, but I may be slightly disheartened. I know God is working even when we don't see anything happen with our naked eye. I know He is moving His hand over us and all those connected to us to unfold an outcome that will display His sovereignty. I know He is wise and can skillfully place each piece of our Rubik's cube lives in the exact place He wills in order for His glory to be shown. Why would I try and get in the way of that?
Because I'm impatient and a control freak. I'm fearful that this could be forever, that we won't get to have a happily ever. I'm being facetious about "happily ever" but to be honest I would be happy if we could just move out of my parents' home and into a home of our own. Then there are those connected to us - my parents, my younger brother...whichever direction our Rubik's cube piece moves, their pieces will move as well...and only God knows and will place them in the right place. This is the reason we are in a waiting period...His hand IS moving even though we cannot see it.
I think what I'm doing is called having faith...at least that is what I've learned so far in life. At least that is how I'm coping with this. I've opened myself up to moving, now if I could open myself up to praying that as we wait for The Lord He will supply us with joy. Because whatever the outcome is with this situation, His glory will shine. Praise God. I want so much to share in that joy.
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
March 26, 2013
December 20, 2012
December 26, 2011
Danish, my accuser/my encourager
But you, Sovereign Lord,
help me for your name's sake;
out of the goodness of your love, deliver me.
For I am poor and needy,
and my heart is wounded within me.
I fade away like an evening shadow;
I am shaken off like a locust.
My knees give way from fasting;
my body is thin and gaunt.
I am an object of scorn to my accusers;
when they see me, they shake their heads.
Help me, Lord my God;
save me according to your unfailing love. (Psalm 109:21-26 NIV)
help me for your name's sake;
out of the goodness of your love, deliver me.
For I am poor and needy,
and my heart is wounded within me.
I fade away like an evening shadow;
I am shaken off like a locust.
My knees give way from fasting;
my body is thin and gaunt.
I am an object of scorn to my accusers;
when they see me, they shake their heads.
Help me, Lord my God;
save me according to your unfailing love. (Psalm 109:21-26 NIV)
December 24, 2011
Faith
That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." The man asked him, "What is your name?" "Jacob," he answered. Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome." Jacob said, "Please tell me your name." But he replied, "Why do you ask my name?" Then he blessed him there. (Genesis 32:22-29 NIV)
A great while before day, Jacob being alone, more fully spread his fears before God in prayer. While thus employed, One in the likeness of a man wrestled with him. When the spirit helpeth our infirmities, and our earnest and vast desires can scarcely find words to utter them, and we still mean more than we can express, then prayer is indeed wrestling with God. However tried or discouraged, we shall prevail; and prevailing with Him in prayer, we shall prevail against all enemies that strive with us. Nothing requires more vigour and unceasing exertion than wrestling. It is an emblem of the true spirit of faith and prayer. Jacob kept his ground; though the struggle continued long, this did not shake his faith, nor silence his prayer. He will have a blessing, and had rather have all his bone put out of joint than go away without one. Those who would have the blessing of Christ, must resolve to take no denial. The fervent prayer is the effectual prayer. The Angel puts a lasting mark of honour upon him, by changing his name. Jacob signifies a supplanter. From henceforth he shall be celebrated, not for craft and artful management, but for true valour. Thou shalt be called Israel, a prince with God, a name greater than those of the great men of the earth. He is a prince indeed that is a prince with God; those are truly honourable that are mighty in prayer. Having power with God, he shall have power with men too; he shall prevail, and gain Esau's favour. Jacob gives a new name to the place. He calls it Peniel, the face of God, because there he had seen the appearance of God, and obtained the favour of God. It becomes those whom God honours, to admire his grace towards them. The Angel who wrestled with Jacob was the second Person in the sacred Trinity, who was afterwards God manifest in the flesh, and who, dwelling in human nature, is called Immanuel, Ho 12:4, 5. Jacob halted on his thigh. It might serve to keep him from being lifted up with the abundance of the revelations. The sun rose on Jacob: it is sun-rise with that soul, which has had communion with God.
(Genesis 32 - Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary on the Bible)
Amazing wisdom and encouragement from God's Word!
A great while before day, Jacob being alone, more fully spread his fears before God in prayer. While thus employed, One in the likeness of a man wrestled with him. When the spirit helpeth our infirmities, and our earnest and vast desires can scarcely find words to utter them, and we still mean more than we can express, then prayer is indeed wrestling with God. However tried or discouraged, we shall prevail; and prevailing with Him in prayer, we shall prevail against all enemies that strive with us. Nothing requires more vigour and unceasing exertion than wrestling. It is an emblem of the true spirit of faith and prayer. Jacob kept his ground; though the struggle continued long, this did not shake his faith, nor silence his prayer. He will have a blessing, and had rather have all his bone put out of joint than go away without one. Those who would have the blessing of Christ, must resolve to take no denial. The fervent prayer is the effectual prayer. The Angel puts a lasting mark of honour upon him, by changing his name. Jacob signifies a supplanter. From henceforth he shall be celebrated, not for craft and artful management, but for true valour. Thou shalt be called Israel, a prince with God, a name greater than those of the great men of the earth. He is a prince indeed that is a prince with God; those are truly honourable that are mighty in prayer. Having power with God, he shall have power with men too; he shall prevail, and gain Esau's favour. Jacob gives a new name to the place. He calls it Peniel, the face of God, because there he had seen the appearance of God, and obtained the favour of God. It becomes those whom God honours, to admire his grace towards them. The Angel who wrestled with Jacob was the second Person in the sacred Trinity, who was afterwards God manifest in the flesh, and who, dwelling in human nature, is called Immanuel, Ho 12:4, 5. Jacob halted on his thigh. It might serve to keep him from being lifted up with the abundance of the revelations. The sun rose on Jacob: it is sun-rise with that soul, which has had communion with God.
(Genesis 32 - Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary on the Bible)
Amazing wisdom and encouragement from God's Word!
August 3, 2010
Prayer
Tonight, I've been awakened to the profound meaning of prayer - praying, knowing God listens. I admit to praying while simultaneously doubting whether my words ever reach God, or if they are merely bouncing off the ceiling and walls. Not only so, but having prayers answered immediately seems so unlikely that I could see how one could believe it is but coincidence when circumstances change for the better. I hope you can agree with me that it would be ridiculous for man to serve a god who is much like a gumball machine, where you drop in a coin and get a gumball. Furthermore, how are we certain that we always know what is best for us? The last time I acted on what I thought was best for me, I landed in the slammer. With that being said, there is not one prayer God leaves unaddressed - the only thing is they are answered at the proper time.
Because I have no intentions of producing offspring just yet, I have no idea how disheartening it would be to be barren. A character in the Bible named Elizabeth was barren. In those days, a woman's value was largely measured by her ability to bear children; therefore, to be aging and without children often led to personal hardship and public shame. Nevertheless, even during this time, she and her husband Zechariah remained faithful and blameless (blameless does not mean sinless, but that they were free from willful sins - intentional sins). Zechariah, being a prist, was often experiencing God in ways that perhaps Elizabeth could not, possibly leaving her very lonely. One day, an angel appeared to Zechariah telling him Elizabeth will bear a child in her old age and they were to name the baby John, who will eventually become the messenger for Jesus. When Zechariah expressed disbelief, the angel responded with, "...it will come true at their proper time" (Luke 1:20). Sure enough, John came into the picture and paved the way for Jesus' arrival.
I relate to the heavy feeling of frustration and diappointment when things that seem to come easily to others doesn't come easily to me. For example, it seems unfair when a coke addict becomes pregnant then abandons her baby in an elevator, while a loving, nurturing woman finds herself barren. Or when a person who has been praying for very a long time to meet the right person sees their friend, who prayed all but 30 minutes, walk down the aisle. In my case, I struggle with the fact that I am still without a job. This is petty, but truth be told I've Facebook blocked everyone I've gone to nursing school with because I don't particularly want to see their status updates about their new jobs. I'm happy for them, but at the same time I get a sick feeling in my stomach.
However, the story of Elizabeth and Zechariah encourages me to remain faithful in prayer during this waiting period. I love that prayer is what characterizes my relationship with God. What separates us from God is but this natural world, a thin veil that will be lifted in the end. God answers in the proper time...when I get a job, it will be because He willed for it to occur at the exact time that will fulfill my purpose. And God never receives more glory than when we can say beyond question, "The Lord has done this for me."
Because I have no intentions of producing offspring just yet, I have no idea how disheartening it would be to be barren. A character in the Bible named Elizabeth was barren. In those days, a woman's value was largely measured by her ability to bear children; therefore, to be aging and without children often led to personal hardship and public shame. Nevertheless, even during this time, she and her husband Zechariah remained faithful and blameless (blameless does not mean sinless, but that they were free from willful sins - intentional sins). Zechariah, being a prist, was often experiencing God in ways that perhaps Elizabeth could not, possibly leaving her very lonely. One day, an angel appeared to Zechariah telling him Elizabeth will bear a child in her old age and they were to name the baby John, who will eventually become the messenger for Jesus. When Zechariah expressed disbelief, the angel responded with, "...it will come true at their proper time" (Luke 1:20). Sure enough, John came into the picture and paved the way for Jesus' arrival.
I relate to the heavy feeling of frustration and diappointment when things that seem to come easily to others doesn't come easily to me. For example, it seems unfair when a coke addict becomes pregnant then abandons her baby in an elevator, while a loving, nurturing woman finds herself barren. Or when a person who has been praying for very a long time to meet the right person sees their friend, who prayed all but 30 minutes, walk down the aisle. In my case, I struggle with the fact that I am still without a job. This is petty, but truth be told I've Facebook blocked everyone I've gone to nursing school with because I don't particularly want to see their status updates about their new jobs. I'm happy for them, but at the same time I get a sick feeling in my stomach.
However, the story of Elizabeth and Zechariah encourages me to remain faithful in prayer during this waiting period. I love that prayer is what characterizes my relationship with God. What separates us from God is but this natural world, a thin veil that will be lifted in the end. God answers in the proper time...when I get a job, it will be because He willed for it to occur at the exact time that will fulfill my purpose. And God never receives more glory than when we can say beyond question, "The Lord has done this for me."
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