I love truth

How does one die to oneself? It's a mechanical phrase to say as a Christian, but I don't think I comprehend the meaning of it. Cindy, who leads our Sacred Marriage group with her husband Ron, read to us a quote on love:

Love is the commitment of my will to your needs and best interest regardless of the cost.

It's a real shame not to be able to put into action something that sounds as lovely and poignant as this. Jesus commands us to love one another and to be humble, gentle, and patient. I am thinking I just don't see the opportunity even when it arises.

Stop, think, act.

I keep hoping to feel utter remorse for this incapability of dying to myself as I write this, but I think it's gotten pass the point of sappy emotions. This knowledge demands a change in thought and attitude. Feelings are fleeting; I have to act on determination. My actions have been a result of whatever overwhelming commotion courses through my veins; it's caused nothing but trouble! It certainly would be amazing if I could channel that sort of passion into loving my fellow men, my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Le sigh. Strong mind.

About last night

"We judge oftentimes according to our own heart and our own affections and not according to the truth, for we lose the true judgment through our private love...Many persons, through a secret love that they have for themselves, work indiscreetly according to their own will and not according to the will of God, and yet they know it not. They seem to stand in great inward peace when things follow according to their own mind, but if it follow otherwise than they would, quickly they are moved with impatience and are very heavy and pensive."

- On the Love of God

Peace and tacos

I am still studying! That is all.

Trees will turn to soil

Camera

I'm sad my camera broke. But Danish promised to buy me a new one when I pass the HESI. I think I'll stick with Canon and get the PowerShot SD1200 IS, which is an upgrade from the one I had before. Also, I am giving up drinking and socializing for the next three weeks.

Easter Sunday

This just in, after finishing my tuna sandwich for lunch I was excited about the Cap'n Crunch cereal box I saw in the pantry. Cereal is a such a delicious treat in the middle of the day. I was crestfallen when I saw that it was Peanut Butter Crunch, not original. Peanut butter sucks! It didn't help that Danish laughed at my misery.

Today, we went to two services, one at our church with my family and one at Christ United Methodist Church with Danish's family. His brother is finally home after having some issues with Bianca. I haven't said much about that situation, but just know that it's ridiculous and I'm very much opposed to it. I'm relieved he's home and we're having dinner over there tonight. It should be a good time.

Yesterday, we drove to Fort Worth and had lunch at Fuzzy's. Originally, we planned on going to the Botanical Garden, but my camera broke. What's the point of going to the gardens if the camera doesn't work? So instead we decided to go to the zoo - sweet idea! My favorite part was the wallabies! They were all curled up into balls and sleeping against the fence, apart from the kangaroos. I think I just like the word 'wallaby' I mean they were sleeping the whole time, as were a lot of the animals. Danish and I still enjoyed ourselves and the weather was so nice.

Afterward, we went to his uncle's house to look at some of the furniture he was giving away since he will be moving to a lakehouse off Joe Poole Lake. We're picking up the furniture in a U-Haul next Saturday and taking it to my parents' house. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this but they're leaving the country on mission, and Danish and I will be occupying the house for a while to save money and eventually buy a house of our own. I feel honored that they're leaving the house for us to take care of and I'm happy to do it. More importantly, I'm glad Danish is excited to live in it and is showing every intention of taking care of and making it 'home.'

Be joyful always

Regardless of Monday's disappointments, I had a very good week. Tuesday, Julie and I met up with Nate and Megan T. for lunch at Cafe Malaga, a Spanish/Mediterranean restaurant which made my heart melt with it's mouth-watering menu. I had the Spanish Azul Burger and a couple bites of the Bravas Chicken Sandwich. Ridiculous. After filling our little bellies and listening to Nate's hilarious stories, we went and watched Alice in Wonderland. I enjoyed it, but I enjoyed the company and the relaxed mood I was in even more. Afterward, I proceeded to take Julie back home. However, we got stuck in the HOV lane which had the upright poles. I was too chicken to drive over them, knowing it would probably damage my car, so we were forced to drive all the way to Dallas. Since we were already there, I thought we might as well do a little shopping. It was so much fun! Julie and I ate again at McCormick and Schmick's which had a happy hour we couldn't pass up. The day's events were a much needed stress-reliever, and even my losing another tutoring client later that day didn't bother me too much. I sense I'm being protected by these friends and family members in my life that I feel confident that the consistent failures I make don't mark my worth. As long as I don't grow careless or apathetic and continue to put forth my greatest effort, I will be okay! I am beginning to understand the concept of choosing to be joyful...

I received congratulatory flowers from my in-laws for passing the HESI exam. Sadly it was a false alarm and it was embarrassing for me to break the news to them. I find it interesting that I am appreciating them more and more as time passes. I call them 'Mom' and 'Dad' and we say I love you to each other...it's weird, but I like it.

Danish had the day off today which pleased me greatly. Knowing he is getting a little break makes me feel better. He works so hard! We had a yummy lunch, went to guitar center, and rode our bikes to the dog park with Tank. Tonight, we're meeting some friends at McKinney square. Then it's another whole day with him tomorrow! If the weather permits, we may go to the Botanical Garden in Fort Worth.