Correction

Violent Still Life isn't playing with Fizzy Dino Pop tonight. In other news, I love sandwiches. Apparently Danish thinks my tweets are stupid, but I don't care. I hate 12 hour clinicals. Danish and I went to Babe's Chicken for dinner last night and it was so good! You choose from 6 entrees - Fried Chicken, Chicken Fried Steak, Fried Chicken Tenders, Smoked Chicken, Fried Catfish, and Pot Roast - and they give you all-you-can-eat sides which include green beans, corn, mashed potatoes, gravy, salad, and biscuits. I thoroughly enjoyed our snow days. Our friends Nate and Meg are moving away and that's a shame considering they were our newly married couple friends. I had a dream last night about my mouth being dry and full of sawdust, and as hard as I tried I couldn't clear any of it.

Finger print

I love going to shows. Danish has another one this Saturday at the Cavern with our friends émic and their friends Fizzy Dino Pop. I dance like an idiot to this last band.

We watched The Talented Mr. Ripley last night. It depicts the main character's struggle to compensate feelings of inferiority which leads to a life of lies, ultimately leaving him even lonelier than before. It was scene after intense scene, and I think Matt Damon is a really good actor. He does a successful job in being super creepy. I have this movie listed as one of my favorites!

Anyway, I'm working on a paper and a few article summaries today. I hope I get everything done so I can treat myself to happy hour with Diana tonight.

Maker's

I drank everyday this week. If I don't get this under control...

Sabotage

If something is easily attained, it's hardly even worth it. Why am I always facing temptations? I serve no purpose in trying to help others find truth and meaning when I can't even get a grip on my own life. Something about being a "scape-goat" in family dynamics, it's nigh time I sabotage the good things in my life. I'm sorry, I'm just so sorry. I need a miracle.

Grave

I have to die to myself. Meaning I have to stop seeking instant gratification. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." It's disappointing to know that I don't have enough faith to allow God to be in control. I end up making rash decisions fueled by alcohol which leave me buried deeper in the grave I've dug for myself.

Interestingly enough, I found this article which describes my impulsive, impatient nature. "People want material objects, relationships, or even success as soon as possible and because they aren’t patient enough to wait for their desires, they lose their own happiness in the process." I would say a lot of truth rings in this statement. Now to get my act together and wait patiently for God to lead me...it's easier said than done.

German beer

I have three days off including today. I feel strange and anxious because I've never had so many days off like this before. Of course it's all because I didn't call my preceptor over the weekend to schedule my clinical. I have a feeling she works weekends...that may be a good thing for me. My very important exit exam, the HESI, is on March 29 after spring break, and I've got to nail my butt down to a chair and study for it. I've never been good with time management and so this is an issue. I guess this week I can try to make an appointment with my school therapist. I need to get a lot of bottled up shit out...I'm only going because it's free. At least the first six sessions are.

By the way, I totally lied on my drugs and alcohol evaluation. I probably do need the counseling.

Fuck

Apparently we are expected to do everything independently this semester after having had rigid schedules and restrictions all throughout nursing school. Time management and a go-get-'em attitude - I am totally and utterly boned.