The Devil's Tears

He said "I am the devil, boy, come with me
And we'll make many storms"
He offered me the universe
But inside my heart there's a picture of a [boy]

Some call love a curse, some call love a thief
But [he's] my home
And [he's] as much apart for this broken heart, but see
Broken bones always seem to mend

I'll taste the devil's tears
Drink from his soul, but I'll never give up you
I'll taste the devil's tears
Drink from his soul, but I'll never give up you

He said "I am the devil, boy,
Come with me and we'll break many laws"
He offered me eternal life but inside my heart there's a picture of a [boy]

Some call love a curse, some call love a thief
But [he's] my home and she
And [he's] as much apart for this broken heart, but see
Broken bones always seem to mend

I'll taste the devil's tears
Drink from his soul, but I'll never give up you
I'll taste the devil's tears
Drink from his soul, but I'll never give up you

Sometimes when I'm feeling more worthless than usual, I sit and ponder upon what exactly makes a man cheat on his young wife. Then I am forced to think of the temptations I myself have faced in times if weakness, and how I have tragically succumbed to what was bad for me. In our moment of weakness and desperation, what's clearly wrong doesn't feel wrong. In fact it feels right and good. It feels carnal and satisfying. It meets a need, fills a void that sat empty for so long. Desperation drives us to pine for instant gratification at the cost of wounding those we love. The heart is not to be trusted...it deceives us into believing our actions are justifiable. I have been there, I'm no saint. We crave newness, excitement, energy. We are drawn to whatever or whomever incites those feelings within us while being empowered by a sudden surge of attention, affection, and admiration. I was foolish to lose self-control and allow myself to indulge in such gross misconduct. Not only have I sinned against the one I love and to God, but I've sinned against my own body. I am utterly ashamed to have strayed so far...I am deeply humbled and thankful for grace and forgiveness. That sin has been far removed from me - I no longer associate with what caused me to stumble. I no longer have a desire for selfish gains and immediate gratification in my moment of weakness and desperation. Instead I turn towards hope, I seek deliverance from my state of despair and earnestly pray for moral integrity. What caused me to stumble I have vehemently cast away. I am disgusted with it, I abhor it. I have been displaced from it and I never want to be near it again, and for that I am blessed.

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. (Matthew 5:27-30 NIV)

Quiet

This Will Destroy You

Transatlanticism

The Atlantic was born today and I'll tell you how...
The clouds above opened up and let it out.

I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere
When the water filled every hole.
And thousands upon thousands made an ocean,
Making islands where no island should go.
Oh no.

Those people were overjoyed; they took to their boats.
I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat.
The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flatlands to your door have been silenced forever more.
The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row
It seems farther than ever before
Oh no.

I need you so much closer...

So come on, come on...

The Bitter End

"Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I'm forever yours. Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. [Being "in love", any fool can do] Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."

Hearts a mess

Pick apart
The pieces of your heart
And let me peer inside
Let me in
Where only your thoughts have been
Let me occupy your mind
As you do mine

You have lost
Too much love
To fear, doubt, and distrust
(It’s not enough)
You just threw away the key
To your heart
You don’t get burned
(’Cause nothing gets through)
It makes it easier
(Easier on you)
But that much more difficult for me
To make you see…
Love ain’t fair
So there you are
My love

Your heart’s a mess
You won’t admit to it
It makes no sense
But I’m desperate to connect
And you, you can’t live like this

Love ain’t safe
You won’t get hurt if you stay chaste
So you can wait
But I don’t wanna waste my love

Till death do us part...

...or until he doesn't feel like being with you anymore.

I'm still in love with my soon-to-be ex-husband...

:(