Coffee Break

I wonder if it's any difference if I remembered the moments during my black outs.

Probably not.

Normalcy

I'm home again, with no outside obligations. I would greatly enjoy being a house wife. I love to cook and clean, and I would read books, take cat naps, play with my dog, work out, watch movies, and clip coupons for when I go shopping. I totally dig that kind of life style. At least once I graudate, I am only required to work 3 12-hour days and I have the rest of the week to myself to do exactly those things.

My story writing has definitely come to a halt. Perhaps I'm really just not that good, and I was merely psyching myself into thinking it wasn't too difficult. We'll see where that goes. I'm needing a delicious plot, one that involves death and tragedy. Funny is definitely not my forte. Daniel continues to suggest real-life writing: real situations, real dialgoue, real emotions.

My brother is is Austin now. I really miss him and hope he's doing well. He said he missed a class on the first day and panicked, but it turned out the class was cancelled. I remember when I first went to college at UT Arlington and it was so overwhelming to be that small and individual in a ocean of students and professors, surrounded by giant buildings. And UT Austin is massive! I've also never lived in a dorm or that far away from home...I'm sure with him it'll be different and fun. He's been longing for this, longing to grow up and get away from high school. I think.

I just finished eating this chinese snack called sachima and I feel a thousand times fatter. It's a soft flour cake made of flour, eggs, sugar, malt, milk, and oil, and it resembles a rice kripsy treat but tastes far less sweet. I like the texture which is like a mix between a soft cookie and a cake. But I guess I ate one when I didn't really crave it so now I feel sick.

I hate banks

I'm looking forward to school starting. I wonder how much I will enjoy/not enjoy Bad Veins seeing as it will be the last show of the summer; the singer sings into a megaphone. I'm glad the summer is coming to an end. It's been so hectic. I'd rather fall into routine once again. Here's a song called "Summer Lovers" by Beats for Beginners. If only I had been smarter in my decisions so that my summer would have been as carefree as this song sounds!

Constipated

Augh! I had a nightmare about a little girl whom I didn't realize was psycho, and she tied up 4 dogs around the neck with rope and tried to drown them in a well! I saved them just in time, performing CPR on each of them. I wonder what the point was of that dream. I didn't fall asleep until after 4:30 this morning, maybe that had something to do with it. I'm going to the pool with Diana for a bit today. I'm anxious to finish reading To Kill a Mockingbird. For a while, I thought it was called How to Kill a Mockingbird and Danish corrected me. I'm going to start C.S. Lewis' Space Trilogy next. I love his writings. Tomorrow, we drive to Houston for our passports, then Austin to get my brother settled into his dorm. There's so much on my mind, I wish I could let it all out.

Taper off and I'm had

I'm having a great hair day. I'm getting my picture taken for my passport. Then Bible study. What a great, relaxing day.

Writing

Danish told me that in order to write something worth reading, I need to be able to have the reader connect with me and be in my shoes. It's a lot harder than anticipated. I wanted so much to create a bizarre character in whom I can live through vicariously, but such is not the case. I'm leaning towards an autobiography. Of course I've mentioned before, if I lose motivation I want to at least publish a short story. There's no way I can methodically display my progress, but I've created a new blog where I will frequently update with the bits and pieces of writing I can manage to muster. None of it will make sense, nor will it have appropriate beginnings or endings. I don't mean to make a big deal, and to be honest my creative energy will most likely fizzle out by the time school starts. I've barely started writing and I'm already disappointed in the prospect of my inspiration being doused.

Pictures from the circus

My favorite show at the circus was the motorcycles in the cage. Afterwards, we ate at a place called Dixie House Cafe. Then we went to the Korean supermarket to pick up some groceries. Then home to Rupert, Derek and Zoe's dog that Danish is watching over the weekend. Yesterday was our friend Paul's birthday, and we went to Chilli's for dinner, but copped out of going to Social House because we were exhausted. To my surprise, I couldn't think of having one more drink and we ended up just hanging at the apartment. I still can't believe our friends Josh and Loni are getting a divorce. Sigh. I wish there was a way I could tell them that no one is easy to love until you understand agape love, and that their marriage could be saved. But you know, it's just hard to bring up those kinds of things. People don't think God has anything to do with their lives. These circus pictures suck.