The World Has Turned And Left Me Here

The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place an empty space
has filled the void behind my face

I just made love with your sweet memory
One thousand times in my head
You said you loved it more than ever
You said
You remain, turned away
Turning further every day

I talked for hours to your wallet photograph
And you just listened
You laughed enchanted by my intellect
Or maybe you didn't
You remain, turned away
Turning further every day

Do you believe what I sing now?

One of my favorite songs...ever. Exactly how I felt when you weren't here.

Bitter coffee

When one has been betrayed, is it possible to be happy again afterwards? I mean genuinely happy. Did Jesus not feel sadness when he was betrayed - when the world chose to disregard Him even as He loved so much enough to sacrifice Himself to the cross? It is more feasible for Jesus to be able to forgive and forget being God's Son and all..."As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our sins from us." (Psalm 103:12) But what about as wretched human beings? Yes, how marvelous it is to practice virtue and to be Christ-like, but is happiness the reward? Happiness towards the forgiven...is that possible to attain? Why does earthly happiness seem more appealing than the eternal joy that emerges from obedience to God?

Prepare

All I know is I can handle it if it happens to me again. I have neither safety nor security with him. I won't waste my breath on those three words.

Hazy

What if I fall and hurt myself
Would you know how to fix me?
What if I went and lost myself
Would you know where to find me?
If forgot who I am
Would you please remind me?

Love me like I'm unending

We find ourselves in relationships, trying to love imperfect people who have failed us and whom we ourselves have failed. When love takes over, it compels us to humbly apologize and take full responsibility for our failures, then to fully forgive where they have failed us. Over and over again.

Dementia

I am currently sitting in silence with my confused patient who has finally given up in looking for his nonexistent clothes which he spent the last 20 minutes looking for. I realized he was looking for clothes when he attempted to don a pillow case as a shirt. Now he has found a random piece of candy and is proceeding to eat it.

Just...try and be happy

I have to trust that Danish loves me. I have to trust that he's not using me or playing me or looking to his own gain. I have to trust that he is sincere in his actions and emotions. I have to trust that he is in for the long haul as I am and he will be there for me as I have for him. I have to trust that he wants to be with me and no one else but me.

Strange how love requires blind faith. I don't doubt my love for him, but I am ferociously unbelieving of his love for me.